Notes of the Marauders
by AccioDisney
Summary: The Marauders pass notes in History of Magic, with the occasional tribute from Lily
1. Boyfriend Material

Hey Sirius! I have a joke for you! What did the astronauts fiancé say when he proposed in open space?

**No, because she was having an affair with his best mate?**

_This is a stupid joke. I've heard it before._

Shut up Moony! She said: I can't breathe! Hilarious right?

**Seriously James. Are you honestly serious?**

_Sirius' answer was funnier._

**_Even I thought that one sucked._**

Don't be so mean, guys. I have a pick up line to try on Lily!

**If it's worse than the last one, you might end up in the hospital wing for more than 2 days this time.**

**_Can you cry underwater?_**

**What sort of daft question is that Wormy?**

_Can you please stop passing this note to me? We are supposed to be writing an essay?_

Stop distracting me with work and school! I need to test my pick up line on you lot! Anyway. Here goes. Hey Lily, feel my jumper, it's made of boyfriend material!

**You're going to be in the hospital wing for a week, Prongs…..**

_James. Do your work. That's just senseless._

**_I don't get it…_**

**Oh. My. God.**

You are the most….I can't even….gosh…

**_Do they sell boyfriend material at Madam Malkins?_**

_How are you even in this school?_

**I'm surprised he could even lift his wand.**

Can we get back on the subject o

_Well done. Just great, Prongs._

**Damn James! I had a date tonight as well!**

Sorry! I didn't mean to get us detention!

**_Can somebody please explain boyfriend material to me?_**


	2. Intellectual Poems

**Forgot to say last time: **

**James-Normal **

**Sirius-Bold **

**Remus-Italics **

**Peter-Bold and Italics **

**Lily-Underlined**

* * *

><p>Moony. Please pass this to Lily.<p>

'ABC, soon you'll see,

123, you love me!'

From your secret admirer xxx

_No way! She'll think it's from me! _

**That's the crappiest poem I've ever read!**

Yeah like you read poems in your spare time Padfoot!

**I happen to be very intellectual, thank you very much!**

**_Can I join in the note conversion?_**

**No wormy! This is just between me and James.**

_What am I, a potato?_

And Moony.

_Thank you_

**_Oh come on please?_**

**Why did you pass the note to him Moony?**

_You passed it to him last time!_

Can someone please just pass my poem to Lily?

**Fine.**

You guys have the attention span of a 3 year old.

Oh hey Lily I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date Friday?

No.

**Short and sweet! I like it!**

You are all the most ghastly childish students I have ever met!

_I'm not that bad!_

Except for Remus.

**I'm not that bad!**

Especially Sirius.

Oh, burn!

Don't even get me started on you, Potter.

_Sorry for bothering you Lily, you can go back to you work now!_

Thanks Remus!

Well done Remus!

_No problem_

**Prongs was being sarcastic….**

_So was I!_

**Ooooh! Is it someone's time of the month already?**

_Don't put stuff like that in a note, moron!_

Yeah Padfoot. That's just moronish.

**That's not even a word.**

_And you would know that, seeing as you're so 'intellectual'!_

**Why is that so hard to believe?**

For one thing, you're writing these notes instead of listening to the teacher.

**Only because you keep sending them to me!**

Well then I'll stop.

**Fine.**

Fine.

**Fine.**

Fine.

**Fine.**

_I'm ripping up the note._

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><p><strong>Please review and give me some feedback! Thanks! xxx<strong>


	3. Sleepiness and Relationships

**Moony. I'm bored.**

**Moony!**

**Moony answer me.**

**Moony!**

_What do you want?_

**I'm bored.**

_Talk to James then!_

**He's sleeping. And so is Wormtail. I wouldn't have spoken to him anyway.**

_Why? Have you argued?_

**No. He just would have made me even more bored.**

_Charming._

**I hear Nancy O'Brien is dating Tom Edwardson now.**

_Really? I thought she was with Nathan Prescott?_

**No. She broke up with him after she saw him with Alice Yeoman.**

_Aren't you going out with Alice Yeoman?_

**Yep. And Nancy O'Brien.**

_…__._

**What?**

_Never mind._

**John Mason and Martha Wilson have broken up too.**

_Let me guess. You're going out with Martha too?_

**No! I'm going out with her best friend Lola.**

_Lola Hayes or Lola Jones? _

**Both.**

_That's four girls Padfoot!_

**So?**

_So, they'll be heart broken when they find out about one another!_

**Aren't you in love with Lola Jones?**

_Yes. A bit. Not 'James' obsession with Lily' in love. But enough._

**Well, I'll break up with Lola Jones and you can give her a shoulder to cry on. I'll only have 3 girlfriends and we can all live happily ever after.**

_Sirius!_

**Are you complaining?**

_Maybe…_

**_Are you complaining!?_**

_No!_

**Good.**

Hey! You guys had a note conversation without me!

**_And me._**

_You were asleep._

**And we have them without you all the time wormy.**

**_Oh._**

So, did Lily mention me at all whilst I was asleep?

**Yes. She declared her undying love for you.**

Really?

_Sirius! James how did you fall for that?_

I didn't!

**Yes you absolutely did!**

I was just keeping an open mind!

**Lier! I got James! I got James!**

Shut up, Padfoot.

**I GOT JAMES, I GOT JAMES.**

_Writing it in capitals doesn't make it any louder…._

**Pointing it out doesn't make you any smarter….**

_I'm leaving the conversation now._

**I'm leaving the conversation now.**

I'm leaving the conversation now.

**_I'm leaving the conversation now._**

**You were never in the conversation!**

* * *

><p><strong>Please review and tell me what you think!<strong>

**I'm open to suggestions as well!**

**Thanks! xxx**


	4. Emerald Shavings

**James, what are we supposed to be doing right now?**

Writing an essay.

**Duh! What about?**

The purposes of emerald shavings in the Draught of Silence.

**What's the purpose?**

Of the lesson or the shavings?

**Never mind I'll ask Remus. Remus, what are the purposes of emerald shavings in the Draught of Silence?**

_Please stop bothering me. This might come up in our OWL's._

**Our OWL's aren't for a year yet!**

_You mean 5 months….._

**Whoa! 7 months went by fast!**

**_What does the Draft of Silence do again?_**

It turns your robes bright pink.

**_Does not! Tell me the truth!_**

It makes everyone who takes it silent!

**What the hell did you think it did?**

**_I was just checking. I wonder where they get emerald shavings from._**

**They pay two million and twenty two 2-feet dwarfs to shave 2 buckets of emeralds a day, I think.**

How is that even possible?

**Well I read it in a book! Books are always true, right?**

_Was this book by any chance….fictional?_

**Well. I didn't think to check.**

_Right._

**_Where do you get emerald shavings really?_**

They're not really emerald shavings. They're pieces of dead skin from green goblins.

**_Really? _**

**Of course! Everyone knows that! Well….almost everyone, it seems.**

_They are both lying to you, Wormy._

**_Well where do you get them from?_**

_Read page 525 of your text book and you'll find out._

Not reading!

**Anything but that!**

_Shut up guys. We need to write our essays!_

James if you don't stop distracting Remus right now I will never talk to you again!

**Why did you give Lily our notes?**

_So she could get James to stop bothering me._

**That's mean and stupid!**

_Well it worked didn't it?_

**You're so clever. I hate you.**

**_James shouldn't be so in love with Lily_****.**

**Yeah. He's kinda way past obsession now.**

_Wormy. Carry on with your essay!_

**_Fine._**

**Why does he even listen to you?**

_I think he's a bit afraid of me. You know. Because of my furry little problem._

**I could work with that….**

_Padfoot! Leave him alone!_

**You're so boring Moony.**

**Why are you so boring?**

**Answer me!**

**James.**

**Wormy?**

**I still don't know the purpose of emerald shavings!**

* * *

><p><strong>Hey! Thanks for your reviews! I would love some more!<strong>

**And some suggestions and feedback!**

**Thanks so much! xxx**


	5. Arguments and Mottos

Are you free tonight, Marauders?

**_Yes. Why?_**

I need you to do me a favour.

_Could you expand on that?_

It's about Lily. I need one of you to lure her up to the tower! I'm laying on a surprise picnic for her with candles and everything!

_I'm going to the library._

**I'm going with him!**

You're going to the library?

**Yes. Why are you so surprised?**

**_I think James means that you don't go to the library often, and is curious about why you need to go now. But by the way James I'm going to the library too._**

Oh, gee guys! Thanks for being there when I needed you.

_Sorry James. I honestly need to study. But Padfoot is absolutely not coming with me! He's actually going on a date with Emily Benson._

**I hate you!**

Padfoot! You have just violated the Marauders Motto!

**_We have a motto?_**

Well…we have one now!

**_Which is?_**

Friends before Girlfriends!

**No. Just no.**

You're coming to help me with Lily!

**No! I'll go to my date, you go to yours!**

_That sounds fair._

Hey moony! You were just on my side! Be on my side again!

_I'm not on anybody's side!_

**Yeah you are you just sold me out to James!**

_Guys come on! It's just the last time you came to the library with me, Sirius, I wasn't aloud anywhere near Indigo Hanson for four months._

**_What happened?_**

_I don't want to talk about it…_

**Ok. I'll lure Lily up to the tower.**

Thanks Padfoot.

**Whatever.**

**_What are you studying in the library, Moony?_**

_Arithmancy. We have homework due this week._

**_We have homework due this week?_**

_Yep. _

**_I need to come with the library with you._**

**What class are we in now?**

Take a look around, Padfoot!

**I don't recognise my surroundings, Marauders.**

_Oh my god Padfoot! We're in History of Magic! The only class where we even pass these notes!_

**Oh. Makes sense.**

_You think?_

**_Stop being mean to Padfoot!_**

**I don't need you to stick up for me, Wormy!**

**_I was just trying to help!_**

**Well I don't need help!**

**_Well I'm not pressing the knot on the tree tonight then!_**

Oh no you have to Wormy! Please!

_Stop writing things like that in notes! You'll get us all caught!_

**_Sorry._**

Sorry.

**Sorry.**

**_I can see Snivellous. _**

_Where?_

**_3_****_rd_****_ row 7_****_th_****_ chair in._**

He looks too happy.

**We can't have that.**

I'll throw a pencil at his head. Hold on.

_James! That just about missed Aniya Strange!_

I never said I had good aim!

**_Strange is such a weird surname._**

**Or you could say Strange is such a strange surname!**

_You lot are so childish._

Oh come on Moony! You now you love us really!

_No. You are giving me a headache._

**But the good kind of headache, right? **

_No. The awful kind._

**Well, maybe you're giving yourself a headache because the stuff inside your brain is so boring. That can happen right?**

_No. No it cannot. The 'stuff' inside my brain is very interesting thank you very much!_

**Why are you starting all your sentences with no?**

_Because I feel like it._

That's a rubbish excuse. In that case I could slap you across the face and when you asked me why I did it, I could say 'because I felt like it'!

_My headaches getting worse…._

**Or if I had 4 girlfriends I could give the excuse 'because I feel like it'!**

_And even worse…_

**_Or I co_**

_SHUT UP PLEASE!_

**_Hey you snatched the note off me and I haven't written anything down for ages!_**

_I'm leaving._

**How?**

_Class finished 5 minutes ago._

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<strong>

**Please review and give me some feedback or ideas!**

**Thanks! xxx**


	6. Toilet Irony

**James. James. I need the toilet.**

Go then.

**I can't.**

Why not?

**Professor Slughorn will say no.**

Why would he say that?

**He hates me.**

What did you do to him?

**I accidently knock over his only bottle of Gillyweed Juice.**

Can you even get Gillyweed Juice?

**Probably not. I think he just made it up to spite me.**

Yeah. Teachers are like that. So what are you going to do?

**Dunno. Hold it in? How long till the end of the class?**

Half hour or so.

**I can't hold it for that long.**

Well try and ask then.

**Told you.**

_What are you two looking so glum about?_

**_Padfoot needs the toilet and Slughorn won't let him._**

_Create a distraction then._

**That is actually quite a good idea.**

_**What sort of distraction?**_

_I don't know. Say you feel sick._

**He won't believe me.**

Drink some of this disgusting gloop we're making and you will be sick?

**I can't drink that! What if it's dangerous?**

_Since when did you care if something's dangerous?_

**Good point. I'll try it.**

I didn't expect that to happen.

**_That was a very peculiar shade of purple wasn't it?_**

Yes. Do you think his skin will change back to normal?

_Hopefully._

Hopefully.

_Stop copying me._

Stop copying me.

Moony.

Moony. I'm sorry.

Answer me.

_What?_

What do you think made his skin turn purple?

_Dunno._

**_It says on page 235 of our text books that the potion stops you from going to the toilet for a week._**

That's ironic.


	7. Misinterpreting Darn

Hi Lily.

What do you want, Potter?

Nothing! Just a chat.

Well, there's a lesson going on right now.

But we're only taking notes. And you look like you've finished.

You haven't.

I'll copy Remus's later.

You shouldn't leave him to do the work all the time!

He likes it.

Really?

Of course. So. What are you doing after class?

Not sure. What about you?

Are you asking me out?

….No?

Yes you are! You asked me what I was doing after this!

Yes. But I didn't ask you out!

You so did! So after class yeah?

No! It was a misinterpretation!

Don't use words I can't understand!

It means you got the wrong idea!

Oh. Darn.

Darn?

You don't know what darn means?

Yes. I don't think you do though.

I do! It means 'awful' or 'bad luck'. And stuff like that.

No it doesn't! It means to 'repair' or 'mend'!

That doesn't make sense!

Yes it does!

Does not!

Does!

Not!

Does!

Not!

I'm not talking to you anymore, James.

No! I'll ask Moony! He'll know!

Fine.

Moony. Read the argument above and tell us the solution.

_They are both correct._

What?

_There are two meanings to the word._

Oh.

I guess I'm sorry for saying you were wrong.

Sorry enough to go on a pity date with me?

Sorry enough to not slap you.

I'll take it.

You don't have a choice. Anyway, what are you actually doing after this?

I have to help Moony get a date.

_James! Private information!_

Sorry. But I can't lie to my Lily flower!

I'm not your Lily flower.

Ok.

So, who do you like Remus?

_No-one._

Lola Jones.

_James!_

Oh, I know her! Ravenclaw?

_Yeah._

I could ask her for you if you like?

Oh yeah! Then you can have double dates with me and Lily!

I don't go out with you!

Whatever you have to tell yourself Lily!

I'm warning you!

_Thanks Lily but I don't know…._

I'll just find out if she likes you. I won't ask her a direct question!

_Ok._

Hey! I'm supposed to be match maker here!

Well James, you haven't got a girlfriend so you're not exactly an expert!

You haven't got a boyfriend! Have you?

Why would I tell you?

Is that a yes or no?

It's none of your business!

I'll take it as a no.

_Anyway, thanks Lily! It's kind of you to do this!_

Are you hitting on my girlfriend Moony?

_No! She's not your girlfriend anyway!_

What are you trying to say?

James! Stop it!

I'm protecting you!

I don't need protecting!

**Sup kids?**

Go away Sirius.

**Ooooh! Touché!**

I'm leaving the conversation.

**Good riddance! **

Padfoot! I was really hitting off with Lily then!

_You argued the whole time!_

She's just in denial!

**Sure…**

_Of course she is…_

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you like this! I'm really happy writing these!<strong>

**Please review and tell me what you think!**

**Thanks for the previous reviews!**

**XXX**


	8. Snivellous Games

Snivellous is looking at me.

_And this concerns me how?_

I was just informing you of the current situation.

**_I can see his massive nose from way over here._**

**Yeah. Dripping with grease.**

_That's disgusting. Concentrate on Professor Binns._

But he's boring!

_Concentrate on Lily then._

Ok.

**Won't work for me. Can't stand the girl.**

Excuse me, Padfoot! This is my true love we are discussing.

**Discussion over, she's a know-it-all.**

_I'm a know-it-all, if I may say so myself._

**Yes, but you know the boundaries!**

_The boundaries of what?_

**Of the know-it-all-ness! You know when we've had enough information for the day** **and you shut up!**

_I suppose._

What do you think of Lily, Wormy?

**_She's nice to me. And Remus. But I think she hates you and Padfoot._**

She doesn't hate me! She's just cautious around me because she doesn't want to let her true feelings show!

**I'm not letting this note conversation turn into another debate about Lily Evans ok?**

Whatever.

**_So. What do you want this conversation to be about?_**

**Snivellous.**

Why do you want our precious time to be wasted on that slimeball?

_It's hardly precious time when all you do is sleep and ask me for my books at the end of the lesson._

Stop pointing out things that spoil my insults on Snivellous. You know it's one of my favourite things to do!

_Sorry._

**_Sorry._**

**What do you need to be sorry for?**

**_Oh, nothing. I thought we were doing that thing were we all say sorry underneath each other in the notes conversation._**

Oh yes! That's fun! Let's do that!

**_Sorry._**

Sorry.

_Sorry._

**Sorry.**

**_So what did you want to say about Snivellous?_**

**Not sure. Let's play a game! We have to see who comes up with the best name for him!**

Umm…ok….I'll go first. Sniffling Snorting Piglet.

**Not bad! Slimy Shaking Greasy-haired Warthog!**

**_Cool! My turn! Evil Grumpy Toad!_**

_This is a stupid game._

Come on Moony! You know you want to!

_Grovelling Spluttering Irritable Wicked Insect._

**_Ooooh! Remus definitely won that one!_**

**Yeah, good one Moony!**

_Thanks! We'd better stop now though, and take some notes!_

**No way! Who needs OWL's and NEWT's to get good jobs?**

_…__..everyone….._

Well, you'll get good grades and we can copy off you!

_What if I stop letting you use mine?_

**_You wouldn't!_**

_Why not?_

**Because we would disown you!**

_This is getting tedious…._

**I'm going to sleep, I feel like I'm writing too much.**

_Too less, you mean._

_I'm going to sleep too. Wake me up if Lily wants me._

_In your dreams._

Hey wormy! That was rude of you!

_I think it was funny._

**I do too.**

I'm disposing of this because no-one must know that all the marauders once ganged up on me.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<strong>

**Please review and give me some feed back!**

**Thanks! xxx**


	9. Making Bacon

Where does bacon come from again?

_A pig. Why?_

I was going to make it, but never mind.

**_Why were you going to make bacon?_**

I accidently over-heard Lily telling Darcy she liked bacon, so I decided to make it.

_Because bacon is easy to make…_

That's what I thought!

_…__sarcasm….._

**_How did you 'accidently' over-heard Lily's conversation?_**

See, I was accidently staring at her in class, when I accidently thought I would accidently stalk her accidently at break, so I accidently followed her into an accidently empty classroom and accidently over-heard her conversation accidently.

**You wrote accidently a lot of times in that sentence.**

I know. Now my wrist hurts.

_Mine does too, because guess what; I just wrote some actual words down in my History book!_

**I write words in my History book!**

_Graffiti doesn't count Padfoot!_

Whatever! Someone help me! I want to make bacon for Lily but I don't want to kill a pig!

**_Why don't you make a meal with bacon in it?_**

Good idea, Wormy, good idea!

**_Oh! Thanks James!_**

Anytime, old buddy old pal! Me and you, we go way back, am I right?

**_I guess we've been friends for a few years….._**

Exactly! And, I mean, I'd do anything for you, mate! Like, last week, I opened the charms classroom door for you, remember?

**_Err… actually that was Remus but ok…._**

You'd do the same for me, huh?

**_I guess…..James, what do you want?_**

Thank god you asked, all that sucking up was killing me! Anyway, will you please make a meal with bacon in it for me? Please please please!

**_I suppose I'm the best cook…_**

**That's nothing to brag about, woman.**

Don't insult my best friend for ever, Padfoot!

**_Ok James, you can stop with the sucking up._**

Thanks.

**_But I'll make the meal. I already know what I'm going to do, I'm going to_**

**We don't care!**

_Don't be so mean, Moony! One day Wormy will pay you back for all this!_

**I'd like to see him try, he couldn't throw punch if I had my hands behind my back!**

_There are other ways to hurt people. _

**How? He can't kick either.**

_Through family, friends?_

**I couldn't care less if he hurt my family and I'd give any of you up in a second.**

Gee. Love you too, buddy.

**I was being truthful!**

**_Truthful is a good quality in a friend!_**

**See, Wormy understands! Wormy is now my best friend!**

Ok, then Moony and I will stop writing, and you can have a note conversation, just the two of you.

**_Ok._**

**Fine. **

**_So….want to hear about my bacon recipe!?_**

**I can't do this.**


	10. Noughts and Crosses

**Who wants a game of Noughts and Crosses?**

**_What's that?_**

**It's a muggle game that Daryl taught me.**

**_I'll have a game!_**

**Ok, I'm Noughts!**

**_Me too!_**

**No, you have to be Crosses.**

**_I'm not._**

**Not what?**

**_Cross._**

**No! You have to be Crosses in the game.**

**_Oh._**

**You don't get it, do you?**

**_No._**

**Uggggghhhhhhhhh. Will someone else play with me?**

I'll play!

**Do you know how to play it?**

I think so.

**Ok, let's play on the piece of squared paper I have in my pocket.**

Sure.

**_Guys._**

**_Where have you gone?_**

**_Pass me that note you're writing on._**

**_I want to join in the conversation!_**

**_Please?_**

**_Please?_**

**_Moony, will you talk to me?_**

_Talk to the boys!_

**_They won't talk to me!_**

_I'll make them, wait there._

**Oww! That hurt!**

Why did you hit Padfoot?

_Because you won't talk to Wormy!_

Why don't you talk to him?

_Because I'm working._

**What are we supposed to be doing then?**

_I'm not telling you, work it out._

**Something about the 12****th**** century?**

_I hate it when you don't pay attention in class and then you get the answer right when the teacher asks you a question!_

**I'm just cool like that, man!**

**_Well, Remus whispers the answers to you half the time!_**

Yes, but the other half of the time we use our supersonic sensory to get the answers right!

**_Pft….That's not true! Only Dumbledore has supersonic sensory!_**

_What makes you thing Dumbledore has supersonic sensory?_

**_He always has those shields over his eyes, so I thought them must be to stop him from overusing his supersonic sensory!_**

Oh God.

**Wormy's finally gone barmy.**

_Seriously?_

**_What?_**

Shields over his eyes?

_Don't you mean…..glasses?_

**_Ohhhhh…..that makes so much more sense…._**

_This isn't even funny anymore._

Yes, I think we need to take him to a mental institute.

**Drop off and no return?**

_Done._

**_It was an honest mistake!_**

**Come on, let's cart him off in a strait jacket!**

**_Not those, they're uncomfortable! I'll go without a struggle._**


	11. Super Snails and Dragons

**Guys. Moony's in the hospital wing and I'm bored.**

What do you want us to do about it?

**I was thinking of dying my hair red.**

**_What?_**

**You know, brave, bold colour for a brave, bold man.**

You'd look like you'd dunked your head in a bowl of spaghetti and then been electrocuted.

**See, then my hair would have a cool story behind it!**

The story behind my hair is that I travelled the world and it got messed up in the wind when I tackled the last Hungarian Horntail known to man-kind.

**_Now that's a cool story. Spaghetti and electrocution is not._**

**Er, I think you'll find it is! Like, maybe I wrestled the Electrocuting…..Snail and that's….how I got electrocuted….**

**_Electrocuting Snail?_**

**Yeah! That's a thing, right?**

Wrong.

**It could be! Like an experiment gone wrong!**

**_What, like a super power snail?_**

**Yeah! That's cool!**

What would his super power be?

**Duh, electrocution….**

I know that, how would he use it?

**He could shoot streams of it from his arms!**

Snails don't have arms….

**_Oh! He could shoot them from his little antennae thingy!_**

**Ooooh! Yes! A stream of electricity from his antennae! That's really bold!**

Well, he has to do something else! My Horntail would beat him any day!

**Ok Wormy, help me, what else can he do?**

**_He could have super speed?_**

Good idea, super speed to out run a big heavy dragon in a race! Ha James!

Well, my dragon would fly. You can't use super speed against flying! Ha to you, Sirius!

**Yes you so can! My snail would absolutely win!**

No he wouldn't!

**He'd use his power of electrocution to zap him!**

No, because my dragon would burn him to a crisp before he could even bother to try and zap me!

**_What if the snail had a psychic power so he knew when the dragon was about to breathe fire?_**

**Ooooooooh that's interesting! How d'you get out of that one Jamesie?**

The dragon has a double psychic power so he knows when the snail is using his psychic powers to know when the dragon is going to breathe fire! Beat that!

**The snail has a TRIPLE psychic power so he knows when the dragon uses his double psychic power to know when the snail is uses his psychic power to know when the dragon is about to breathe fire! Oh yeah! I just wrote all that!**

Well, the dragon has QUADRUPLE psychic power to kno

**_Ok, I think we get the psychic power thing!_**

**My snail would win the fight!**

No, my dragon would!

**My snail would!**

My dragon would!

**My snail!**

My dragon!

**My snail!**

My dragon!

**Snail!**

Dragon!

**Snail! **

Dragon!

**_Please stop! Remus is back!_**

_I go to the hospital wing for 10 minutes and you start this?_

**Uh huh!**

_You're arguing over whether a super snail or a dragon would win a fight?_

Uh huh!

_You bunch of downright morons!_

**It's great to have you back, Moonsie!**


	12. Cheese and Potato Pie

I'm hungry.

_I'm Remus, nice to meet you._

Moony, I'm serious!

**No, I'm Sirius!**

No, I'm not joking!

_I thought you were Hungry?_

Oh. My. God.

_Someone's angry._

**It's not me, I'm Sirius! Haha!**

_Ok, stop with the name thing now._

**Ok.**

_Ok._

I'm hungry.

**I'm Sirius, nice to**

_I said stop!_

**Sorry….**

_Why are you hungry, Prongs? Did you not eat at lunch?_

**_Yeah, he ate the whole of the cheese and potato pie._**

**What!? I wanted to try some of that!**

Hey! Let's not jump to any conclusions! You haven't heard my side of the story yet!

**_Well, did you eat it?_**

You see….erm I…

**Well, come on!**

I was hungry ok!? God you are so judgemental!

**I'm going to kill you, James!**

Oh come on its not that bad, is it?

**It is if I screamed at Jenny Smith because I thought she ate it all!**

Oopsies!

_Jenny Smith?_

Weird sticky up hair?

**_Always covered in cat hair?_**

Too fat to fit through the portrait hole?

_James!_

What?

_You can't say that!_

What?

_Fat!_

I can't say fat?

_No! You have to say abnormally large or slightly bigger than average!_

Ok. Too slightly bigger than average/abnormally large to fit through the portrait hole?

**Yes!**

Haha! Remember when she got stuck in the transfiguration classroom door?

**_That was a funny day! I wet my pant laughing! Literally. Actually it wasn't that funny a day._**

_She got stuck because you and Sirius charmed her to grow to the size of a hot air balloon!_

**Psht! We did no such thing!**

_Yeah you did! You put posters up around the common room to boast about it!_

Damn. Forgot about those.

**_But anyway, what did she say?_**

**She started crying and ran to Professor Dumbledore.**

**_Sirius! What did he say?_**

**I have to stay inside for a day.**

_What?_

**_That's not very harsh is it?_**

**What did you want him to do, crucio me?**

Perhaps a few light crucio's were necessary.

**What? It was your fault!**

I'm joking! And how was my fault?

**You ate the pie!**

Well you shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and blamed her!

**Whatever James! I'm ignoring you!**

Not if I ignore you first!

_Peace at last!_

**Shut up!**

You shut up!

**No you!**

No you!

_Uggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!_

* * *

><p><em>Please Review! I love to read them! Please! I'm begging you! Thanks x<em>


	13. James the Rapper

Sup my marauders?

**No James, just no.**

Hope y'all havin' a sick time!

_He's gone barmy._

Imma rapper yo!

_**What's he doing?**_

_He appears to be doing some kind of street dance._

**It's hurting my eyes.**

It's da in thing now man!

_**God it's blinding!**_

**Make it stop!**

Alright, alright, chill out! I've stopped!

_Praise the lord!_

_**Thank Mercy!**_

**I feel alive!**

You're all so mean! It was really cool dancing!  
><strong>You made me want to pull my eyes out with the claws of a savage werewolf!<strong>

_You actually made Wormy cry!_

_**It was just so awful! I can still see it when I close my eyes!**_

Well I'd like to see you dance better!

**I'm sure you would, dear Prongs, but I think Wormtail here will wet himself if he endures anymore of this inhuman dancing.**

_**Please no! Don't dance please!**_

_You see! I think he's having a panic attack._

**Just push him under the table, he'll calm down.**

I bet Lily will find my dancing cool!

**I bet not!**

I challenge thy Padfoot to a bet!

**I return thy challenge gracefully!**

_Ok, James, you go up to Lily and start dancing. If she tries to stab you in horror, Padfoot wins. If she smiles and dances along with you, you win the bet._

Lily has never smiled at James since the day she came in to existence.

Well, all that is about to change, my old friend.

**Wouldn't count on it…**

Already am! Here goes….

**Ooooooooh! I bet that hurt!**

_Is he crying?_

**I think he's just screaming in pain.**

_**Even I felt that one.**_

**Get back under the table Wormtail!**

_**Sorry, I'm going!**_

_D'you think he can stand?_

**Judge by the way he's lying I'm guessing no.**

_Should we alert the teacher?_

**No, just pretend you haven't seen it.**

_How? He's gather quite a crowd._

**Just keep your eyes on our notes and don't act suspicious.**

_Ok._

**You're staring too hard, you look suspicious! Tone it down, tone it down!**

_Is this ok?_

**That's better! Keep it cool, oh, bit too much! That's better!**

_**James is getting up!**_

**Avoid eye contact!**

_**Oh, he's down again!**_

_You're sure we shouldn't help him?_

**Positive. We don't want to draw any attention to us.**

_**Madam Pomfrey is coming.**_

**She has a stretcher.**

_She's taking him away._

_**The crowd is lessening.**_

**Lily is walking away with Alice.**

_Everyone is turning to stare at us._

_**I think they're onto us.**_

**Damn it Moony I told you to tone it down!**


	14. Apologies

**How are you feeling Prongsie?**

Why are you sending notes to me? We are in the hospital wing. Just talk.

_Madam Pomfrey has forbidden us to._

Why?

_Because it would disturb your healing process. _

Ugh. My stomach hurts.

**Ha. I bet it's not the only thing that hurts.**

I'm not betting on anything for a while.

**_Tee-Hee…._**

It's not funny! It hurts so much!

**Awwww! Is ickle Prongsie a teeny bit crabby cos he got in an ickle tiff wiv his one true love?**

Shove off Padfoot!

_Padfoot, leave him alone!_

**What? Come on it was his own fault! You know you want to laugh at him!**

…

STOP LAUGHING YOU FOOLS!

_You fools?_

Just shut up!

**Why not you, you fool?**

**_Yes, you fool, what is the problem?_**

_Take a joke James, you fool!_

I'm in pain! You are my friends, you're supposed to look after me during the time of woe! I SAID STOP LAUGHING!

**Sorry, sorry. We'll be the friends you have always wanted from now on, dear James.**

_Of course we shall. _

**_Would you care for some freshly squeezed orange juice, chap?_**

Ummmm…..yes please…

**Here you go, my old pal!**

Thanks….look guys, I was just joking. Stop it.

**_Here, let us feed you some grapes!_**

Stop it, I was just messing around!

_One does not simply, mess around, dear James. _

Please stop!

**_Ah, my boy, we are inclined not to!_**

Please!

**Say you were wrong!**

No way!

_Come ickle James!_

Stop, no!

**Then we shall continue with thy treachery!**

Ok! I was wrong.

**And?**

I'm sorry I snapped at you.

_And?_

I made a mistake…

**And?**

…

_And?_

…

**_And?_**

…

I LOVE YOU GUYS, OK?

**Awwwwwwwwww**

_Awwwwwwwwww_

**_Awwwwwwwwww_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Sorry this isn't longer!<em>**

**_I don't think it's particularly funny either?_**

**_Please review and tell me your thoughts!_**

**_Thanks! xx_**


	15. Nicknames

**Prongs.**

**Prongs!**

What?

**I've had a thought!**

Good for you, Padfoot! It must be your second this year!

**Shut up! …..what was my first?**

When you told Peter how to spell his last name.

**Oh yeah. That was a proud moment!**

Whatever. What's this idea then?

**We buy a barrel of carrots, and leave them around the school like a cool treasure hunt. Like, for bunnies!**

_And the point of that would be?_

**Hey, how did you get this note?**

_I intercepted it as you passed it to Prongs._

**You evil mastermind.**

_Thank you._

Anyway, why would we do that?

_A simpler version of my question, a few notes above._

**I want a cool nickname!**

Gee PADFOOT. Maybe you already have one.

**No, I mean we can only use those nicknames between us. I want one that anyone in the school can use!**  
><strong><em>Why is hiding a bunch of carrots around the school going to give you a nickname?<em>**

**It's an unusual thing to do, so people will remember me after it, and give me a cool nickname! God you're such idiots!**

So you want a 'cool nickname' like 'carrot boy' or something?

**Why would it be carrot boy?**

_Ummmm…maybe because you would be hiding carrots around the school, therefore ensuring the nickname Carrot Boy._

**Carrot Boy is a rubbish nickname!**

_Speak for yourself._

**Thanks. I will. Help me find a better nickname!**

**_Well…what do you want to be called?_**

**I'm not sure. Maybe something like: Sirius-The-Greatest-Gryffindor-Who-Ever-Lived!**

Really rebelling against your parents on that one huh?

**_You're going to have a hard time getting that to stick, Padfoot._**

_He's going to have a hard time saying it out loud without getting punched in the face!_

**No-one has ever had the guts to punch me in the face!**

_Matthew Johnson._

**_Ryan Jones._**

Thomas Wilton.

_Dylan Pearce._

**_Charlie Wylie._**

Jack Pitman.

**Alright alright! I'll think of a less big-headed nickname…**

**_Why can't you use Padfoot?_**

_Because (duh, wormy) people would ask why I was called Padfoot!_

**_Oh. Why are you called Padfoot?_**

Merlin's Pants!

**Take a wild guess WORMtail.**

**_Ohhhhh. My bad._**

You think?

_Maybe you're just Sirius to everyone else Padfoot._

**I guess….**

But we still have cool nicknames between us.

**I guess….**

**_You ok?_**

**I guess….**

_Will you stop that?_

**I guess….**

_Ok that's it! I have a nickname for him!_

**Ohhhhh what?**

**_Ohhhhh what?_**

Ohhhhh what?

_'__Repetitive' Yeah?_

**_What does 'repetitive' mean?_**

_It means 'says the same thing over and over again and annoys the hell out of everyone'!_

**_That's the perfect nickname!_**

It fits Sirius's persona in a cool and ironic way!

**No! That's not fair!**

_Of course it is Repetitive!_

**It not! Stop!**

No thanks Repetitive!

**I hate you all!**


	16. Secrets

I have a secret!

**What is it?**

I can't tell you, it's a secret!

_Why tell us you have a secret if you don't want to tell us what it is?_

Wormy told me not to tell you, Grumpy-Pants!

_Immature. So its Wormy's secret?_

Uh huh.

_Why did he tell you and not us?_

**Pity he's not here right now or I'd curse him until he told me.**

_Perhaps that's the reason he didn't tell Sirius. But he likes me!_

He likes me better!

_Does not! You always gang up on him!_

Well, he told me and not you, get over it!

**No! Tell us what it is!**

Nope!

**Then I'll tell Moony your secret!**

You wouldn't dare! I'd tell him yours!

_Has everyone been keeping secrets from me?_

Pretty much.

_Yeah, we have a club and everything._

_What are all your secrets!?_

**We are not telling you!**

_Fine! I won't tell you my secret!_

Come on now Moony. You don't have a secret do you?

_Yeah I do! Really really good ones you would kill to hear!_

I'm not bothered. My secrets are too good to worry about yours.

**Yeah! If your secret was so good you wouldn't want to know ours!**

_I don't! I'm merely informing you that I too have amazing secrets!_

Not as amazing as mine! Mine is absolutely hilarious!

_I'll just ask Wormy tonight. He'll tell me so I couldn't care less about it!_

I think you could, Remus! Someone's getting red in the face!

_I'm not INTERESTED!_

Whatever you have to tell yourself, Moony!

**My secrets are the best! I'll never tell anyone about the time**

_You nearly told everyone…._

**Nearly! I didn't really, did I?**

_Ok….._

Wormy's secret is the best ever!

**You'll tell me won't you, James?**

No! I want to keep this to myself forever!

**I bet I can make you tell me the secret.**

Cannot!

**Can too!**

Cannot!

**Can too!**

Cannot!

**Can too!**

Ok, prove it.

**Lily, will you please ask James to tell me his secret?**

No.

**Well nice to see you to.**

_Good idea Padfoot._ _Lily, will you please ask James to tell me his secret?_

Normally Remus, I would favour you over Sirius, but it's James's secret and you must respect that. Plus, I already know.

_What!? Wormy told you too?_

No, James did!

_Huh?_

**Hey!**

I told you not to tell them!

I do not obey you James Potter.

Whatever Evans!

Excuse me?

I mean; sorry Lily, you're right.

You better had.

_This still doesn't solve the secrets problem!_

**Well I'm never telling anyone I peed myself on the first night of the first year!**

And I'm never telling anyone Wormy is madly in love with Abagail Radford!  
><em>And I'm never….wait a minute!<em>

**Hahahahahahaha! Abagail Radford! Even he can do better than her!**

You wet the bed?

**What? How do you know that?**

_Look above, my idiotic friend._

**Oh sugar.**

Oh sugar indeed.

_Wormy's getting hell later._

I wouldn't want to be him tonight…..

* * *

><p>Hiya Guys!<p>

I just wanted to say this is the last note that with be up for about a week so savour it!

Thanks for the reviews, I nearly died when I saw them! Keep them coming!

xx KT xx


	17. Remus gets Cranky

**_Guys, why do you keep looking at me and laughing?_**

We're just admiring your charming features, Wormtail!

**_Oh. Thanks. I washed my face this morning._**

**Don't you wash it every morning?**

**_Ummmm…..why would I do that?_**

_Because…_

**_Because what?_**

_Just because!_

**_Alright, calm down! Thanks for noticing anyway._**

No problemio.

_That's not a word._

I know. It was a genius play on the words to make me look cool.

_Well. It didn't._

Of course it didn't, you ruined it by pointing it out!

_Sorry for being clever!_

Apology not accepted!

**I thought problemio might be Spanish for problem or something.**

_Well you thought wrong._

**I gathered that from your heated discussion with Prongs above**.

_I'm surprised you could even read them._

**God Moony I wouldn't have been able to reply to you if I couldn't read! Be more logical!**

_Shut up and do your work, Padfoot!_

**Why are you so mean, Moony? So MEAN!**

_I'm being logical, Padfoot. Ring a bell?_

**_You're still laughing at me! Why?_**

I've already told you!

**_That's not the reason! You don't laugh at someone because you think their good-looking, you laugh at them because they have ink on their face or something!_**

You have ink on your face.

**_I do not!_**

How do you know?

**_Because I washed it this morning!_**

_Will you both shut up please, I have a headache._

**You always have a headache! Get rid of it!**

_Well, you know Sirius, it's not as if wizards are magical and have spells for that kind of…..wait…._

**Yeah. Whose being logical now? Hail me! Hail me!**

No I will not hail you! I'll hail Lily cos she's awesome and beautiful!

Not working James!

Damn!

_James. You. Have. Just. Made. A. grammatical. Error._

What?

**Keep calm. He gets crabby during headaches. No-one say anything at all to upset him. Do not make eye contact.**

_You. Spelt. Because. As. Cos._

Technically that's a spelling mistake, not a grammatical error.

**No! You've angered him even more! Don't you understand what you've done? You've put us all in danger!**

Oh stop being so dramatic Sirius, he can't Whoa! That took an unexpected turn!

**He'll be in detention tonight!**

Poor Remus.

**_You still haven't told me why you were laughing at me!_**

**Never mind, I want Remus to be here when I confront you.**

**_Ok. Wait what?_**

* * *

><p><strong>Review and tell me what you think!<strong>

**Thanks for all the review that you've done already!**

**Thanks! xx**


	18. Pigs and Quaffles

Is turning a pig into a Quaffle illegal?

_James. What have you done now?_

Nothing, nothing! Just wondering.

_Ok._

I said I was just wondering ok?

_Yes, I believe you._

Why can't you just expect the fact that I'm telling the truth?!

_I said I believe you, calm down!_

Fine! I'll tell you! You broke me! I accidently turned May Hilton's pig into a Quaffle!

**_James! She'll be so mad!_**

**How has she brought a pig here? You can only have an owl, cat or toad, right?**

Yes, but she had it brought over by her mum for a Care of Magical Creatures lesson!

_A pig is not a magical creature._

Don't you think I know that!?

_Alright, no need to poke!_

Professor Marigold let her bring it to compare with the Nifflers we're studying next lesson.

**Ha. Well you're screwed.**

Please help me guys! I'll get into real trouble for this.

**_Ok. First things first, tell us the full story._**

Right. So, I was wandering round the Hogwarts grounds, following Lily, when I saw a pig charging straight toward her. I knew I had to be the hero, so I turned it into a Quaffle. It still wacked her in the mouth and broken her jaw, but I figured worst could have happened if she'd been trampled on by a pig.

_You know Prongs, I'm so proud of you. I thought your story would be something along the lines of 'I did it for a joke' but it was a heart-warming tale of love and saviours._

**Remus, we're supposed to be helping him, not reviewing James on his 'tale'! I wish I'd been there to see the Quaffle break her jaw. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!**

It was a really special moments actually. She let me take her to the hospital wing and she thanked me.

**Prongs. You are changing. Stop changing. You used to be fun, now you're just boring and in love with Lily! Is that who you want to be? Is this who you are now? A boring, Lily obsessed fool? Is it? Is it?**

Errr…..yeah….

**_Do you think that you're over reacting?_**

**What's next James? Are you going to start taking notes? Do your homework? Or. The unthinkable. Are you going to stop hexing, can I dare say, Severus Snape?**

_I think they're over reacting._

How dare you! I would never ever do that to you! How could you think, how could you say such a terrible, nightmarish thing?

**_We'd better not interrupt._**

_Yeah, I think they're having a moment._

**I'm sorry James. That's just how it is. This was never how I planned it. You've led me to believe it.**

I'm so sorry, my dear friend. I've realised the error of my selfish ways. And I reassure you that what you believe is false. I hope you can forgive me, old friend.

**Yeah it's cool.**

Good. Bro hug?

**Bro hug.**

**_What the….._**

_Just let them hug it out._

**_But-_**

_Hug it out._

* * *

><p><strong>Review please!<strong>

**Thanks for all previous reviews!**

**Tell me what you think!**

**Thanks! xxx**


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